Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Our Foster Journey: Our First Placement



We got the first call at 12:30am, we said yes, and they said he's yours as soon as he's done being examined at the hospital. CPS arrived at my home at 9am. A great friend came over to keep the other two boys company while I completed more mounds of paperwork.

I cannot think back on that first day without tears. Little man was in bad shape. It's hard to believe he's the same kid. The hospital papers listed 2 skin conditions, one that was contagious the other was eczema. We later found 2 other infections, both contagious. We didn't have a name or an age or any information on how he arrived this way because he had been passed from different homes over the last month at least. We thought he was older because he had a mouth-full of teeth, but didn't seem very old because he could hardly hold up his head--though it was probably because he was in so much pain. When he started squirming in his carseat, I took him out and carried him into the kitchen to get a bottle. Poor little man was squeezing me with all of his might, having just had a long night at the hospital and now somewhere new he didn't recognize--again!--he was understandably nervous. Davis ran into the kitchen when he realized he had a chance at food too, and when little man saw D, he immediately relaxed. That's the first time I knew this where this little man needs to be right now.

We spent the rest of the day arm wrestling Medicaid, CPS and the hospital to get an o.k. to get little man's prescriptions under "baby boy unknown", and then doctoring his wounds. By 8pm that night, we got a call from CPS, who had located mom who gave us Baby Ls name and birth date and demanding him back. I was warned this foster world was messy, I just don't think I really knew how messy. By the end of night one, I was already having to rely on the Lord's sovereign goodness and how I can care for L now, without worrying about what was next.

I would not have survived those first two weeks without my parents and friends and home group who laid down their schedules to help with dinners, or watching the boys, or providing me company when I was holed up at the house. Over the first 2 months, L and I spent 40-something hours at the hospital for staph infections, trouble breathing, and learning to care for his skin. We had daily, weekly, and monthly routines to help him not feel miserable. We said we couldn't deal with extra medical care, but the Lord had something else in mind. I became consumed and obsessed with finding any way to help Baby L--prescriptions, over the counter meds, essential oils, better diet, wet wraps, moisturizers 4-6 times a day, anything that could help. At times, I'd get angry about all it. Angry his skin got this way, angry no one was watching him or caring for him, angry it wasn't curable, angry it was taking time and attention away from the other boys, angry that it was making me angry.

And then, Baby L would hold his head, and then sit on his own, then pull up, and finally take his first steps! Although a lot slower than I wanted, the Lord was healing him. "Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights from whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." (James 1: 16-17)

My bio kids love, love, love, love, love Baby L. Monday I was kicked out of the nursery by my 4 year old because he was reading a book to Baby L and didn't want me to bother them. Yesterday my 2 year old ran into the nursery when Baby L started crying, after waking from a nap, and started giving him kisses. At the kids' Valentine's parties at school, Harrison called all of his friends around the stroller to see "his baby!". They then had competitions to see who could make him laugh. In Davis's classroom, they did an activity asking each of the kids what they loved. Everyone's answers were either mom or grandmothers, except for Davis who said, "Baby L". They know L is here because his home isn't safe right now, to which Harrison has assumed we are just waiting until the construction men finish fixing his house.

Marshall and I love, love, love, love love Baby L too. We think of him as our third son, all of the while praying for the Lord to make his birth family a safe place for L. Baby L has spent his first Christmas and his first birthday in our house. He took his first steps here and first started calling someone "mama" here. He is completely ours, while not being ours at all. We want what the Lord wants for Baby L, and we want Baby L to stay. As it turns out, those two are not the same thing. 

Baby L will be in our home for 11 weeks and 4 days. Even though it was such a short time, he'll always be considered a part of our family.

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